I am ever more convinced that the only celebrity we need right now is the Bronx rapper Cardi B, who represents most clearly the duality of man in everything she says and does, a complex spectrum of humanity that seems most electrifyingly united in the body and soul of a 26-year-old who is sort of married to one of the hip-hop group Migos. On the one hand, nobody on Earth has danced in a way that, as per the Thotiana remix video, I saw it and immediately had to go home early from work; on the other hand, I don’t think there is a single other pop star alive who can coldly cite the names and works of every US president then meet up with a Democratic candidate in a nail salon while wearing a $9,000 dress. We talk a lot about “icons”, don’t we, but I’m starting to think the word is a blunt tool, ineffective at piercing the sheer diamond of Cardi B. We must expand the language to encompass her.

Anyway, the meeting. This week Cardi joined Senator Bernie Sanders in Detroit to talk about the potential of “economic, racial and social justice for all” (according to the Instagram post about their meeting) and to record one of those outreach videos aimed at young people to get them to vote and which never, ever work.

This happens like clockwork once every four years, to be fair. Who will be our celebrity presidential outreach in 2023? Will the Stranger Things kids still be a thing, or will a rush of puberty have made them wonky and unlikable? Will JoJo Siwa still be about or will a younger, even more cheerful YouTuber have risen up and drunk the blood straight out of her veins? There are more famous children now than at any time in history. This paragraph could have gone on for ever. […]